How We Got Here

Hi, Zoë here

So. There's this outdoor group in Florida that Vinny and I were never a part of, but we both independently infiltrated their friend group. It's called OAR. One day, my friend and I decided to invite the OAR email list to a potluck at my house even though I didn't know any of them. I was starstruck by these dirtbags who have been on so many legendary suffer-fest outdoor adventures. This guy walked in holding a huge box of taco bell. I screamed "TACO BELL!!! and wrested the box from his arms. It turns out that guy was named "Vincent." He was on a layover on his way to Raleigh. I thought he was cute, but found out he lived in Seattle, so I said "Why don't you live here?" He proceeded to help me with ALL the dishes. (This was before I invested in paper plates). He washed and I loaded the dishwasher. He was so kind and eager to help. I had to figure him out. I said "Why are you the way you are?" He told me all the intimate details of his childhood that make Vinny Vinny. Then I was in trouble- I really liked this guy. When I thought he was about to leave I cried "I don't want to not know you after today!" He said "I'm coming back in 3 weeks." I asked him if I could pick him up from the airport and he said yes. Later that night I texted him "You're something else."

Over the next three weeks, we texted a bit, and at some point on a weekday I asked him to call me to get to know each other better. And he did. :) We talked all about his ambitions. At one point he had to join a work call, and he said he would call me back- and he did. This was a huge deal to me, that he did what he said he would do. That's the first reason I chose Vinny.

The weekend before he arrived in Denver, I realized his flight landed really late at night. I was with my friends asking "Do you think he's going to have me pick him up and then drop him off somewhere else??" On the way to pick him up, I decided to take matters into my own hands. I texted him "want to cuddle?" He said yes.

After Vinny had been at my house for a while, my friend Alexis said "how's the longest first date ever going?" It was then that I realized this date had been going on for 2 weeks!!

During those 2.5 weeks, we just did life together. We both worked all day, and then cooked with my 6 roommates at night, grocery shopped, climbed at the climbing gym, etc. He worked from my house and did my laundry, deep cleaned my whole gross kitchen, reinforced the floor of my chicken coop, took all of my roommates grocery shopping, etc. The unique thing about this was that I found all of that out from my roommate Elisa. She would text me what he was doing, and I would get home and wait to see if he would mention that he spent an hour deep cleaning my microwave, and he would never say it. This was the second reason I chose Vinny- he wasn't being performative.

Besides normal weekday activities, we went on some incredible adventures during those 2.5 weeks. On my birthday, after running around with my dad all day in Winter Park, I picked Vinny up and brought him to my house to destroy him in Rummikub. It did not go as planned- he won. We also went canyonnering, and he cleaned all the gear afterward- gear that had never been cleaned before. :) For our first official date, he took me swing dancing, and pretended he didn't know how to swing dance for a full 5 mins before showing off his skills. I also asked him to help me kill two of my roosters... He bought a really sharp ax and we made some delicious spicy chicken curry. We also went to Rocky Mountain National Park and *almost* made it to Sky Pond Lake... 3 years later and as many attempts, and we still haven't made it all the way there, haha. After that hike we raided a local dumpster and made a throne with our loot. We also went snowboarding and tailgated for Alora's birthday at A Basin, and I thought Vinny was really slow, but actually he cracked a rib on the first run... Sorry beba!

Then, Vinny went back home to Seattle. And I called him constantly. We talked for 4 hours a day on many occasions, me asking him 1,000 questions about his life and what he wants. Thus, my 84-question survey was born. The 3rd reason I chose Vinny is because on his survey answers, he was very honest. He wasn't just trying to make himself look good. One of my questions was "How would you protect me in the end of the world?" His answer: "I will take you to secret cave locations across the southeast. We will befriend the salamanders and learn their ways so that they can help us keep tabs on the outside world. I will go hunting once a month for fresh meat and we will stash water and aquaphor in the corner of every cave. I will carefully study rocket science textbooks every night and we will build the most advanced rocket this planet has ever seen together to launch ourselves away from this cruel earth. We'll stumble upon a suitable planet and repopulate the human species under beautiful purple skies." And you know the craziest part? I believe him.

The 4th reason I chose Vinny is because one day on the phone, he told me that if he didn't have a partner by the time he was 30, he would just adopt a 5-year-old by himself, because he wanted kids that badly. When asked what he wanted to be when he grew up as a small child, he said "A good dad."

We started dating on May 31st, 2023, despite still living in different states. I told Vinny he needed to move to Denver so we could do real life together instead of only seeing each other on idyllic vacations. We were each about to sign different leases in Denver when I called him and said “Do you want to move into a van and do the Pan American Highway for the next 7 months?” He said “No, I want to save up a bunch of money.” I said “We can get starlink and you can keep your job.” 2 hours later he was sending me listings of vans.

In July, I drove my stepdad Motor’s van to Seattle to live there with Vinny for a month and move him out of his beautiful girl-i-fied studio. We had an awesome month pushing each other off of paddle boards on Lake Union and eating copious amounts of thai food.

Then our vanlife commenced. This is where we learned a lot about each other- there’s nowhere to hide when you’re living in a van with another human being. I learned that Vinny has to shower twice a day, work out every day, eat well, and spend hours at WeWork every day to feel like a person. Vinny learned that I want to spend all day making intricate camp dinners in the woods. We agreed on having a full bookshelf with 100 books in the van at all times.

3 months of national parks and visiting friends and family later, we found ourselves living in Vinny’s house in Raleigh and doing construction on the basement. This was where we learned how to do real life together. I learned that Vinny needs everything to be in a labeled bin, and he learned that I want to cook intricate dinners every night (again). We landed on having many things in labeled bins, and me cooking 2-3 times a week so we can still climb and have a life. ;) After 6 months when we were standing in the Raleigh house, Vinny exclaimed “Guess what? We’re moving to Seattle!” I quickly made a case for Vancouver, WA because that’s where Camille and Lexie are, and beba said yes.

Vancouver was full of blueberries and peaches and cherries and SALAMANDERS. We had a great time because everyone we loved visited us. A highlight was kidnapping Vinny’s mom and stepdad to stay with us in an RV in someone’s backyard while exploring little seaside towns in Washington. Another highlight was getting the van stuck in the sand with Matt. We almost bought a house there after a year of living there, but then the whole van molded and I couldn’t take it anymore. Wetness is Enemy #1. At a coffee shop in California, we agreed to each say where we wanted to live on the count of three: 1, 2, 3, Denver! Luckily we both said the same place, so off we went.

At first, Vinny was not keen on us moving back into the Zuni house where we met with 6 roommates, until he met Logan. Since Logan lived at Zuni, Vinny was down for the chaos. This was a great choice because we made a bunch of friends and were able to reconnect with all of our old friends. We house-hunted for many moons until we finally found our home in Arvada!

We stole Logan and Noonan and moved into The Hidden House. Then I went to Utah and came back with a very special 29th birthday gift for Vinny: his soulmate, Winnie. Then Kara and Tuna moved in, and then our lives were complete. Which leads us to the present day!

I was just minding my own business going to Erin’s bachelorette party in South Carolina when I was sent on Vinny’s version of the Amazing Race for 2 weeks. I had to solder a pipe, and do numerous puzzles involving geology, physics, Citrix environment stuff, sportsball, The Office, national security, stereotypes about different countries, the Book of Mormon, etc etc. This man sent me on a scavenger hunt through 13 states. I searched for clues, dug up treasure boxes, and solved so many 4 digit codes that I started solving imaginary lock boxes in my sleep and texting friends about it. At each stop, our friends and family magically appeared to help me solve the puzzles and find the next location. At every turn, I expected to see Vinny there- imagine my surprise when I arrived at our old apartment in Seattle and found Vinny standing there in a full suit. He got on one knee, but something didn’t seem right- suddenly he was running as fast as he could in the opposite direction, getting tackled by someone in an orange hazmat suit, and getting thrown into a white van. At first I was paralyzed, but my beba was in trouble, so I took off running and somehow got into the white van. (They didn’t expect that). Turns out it was Pat driving the van and my Lexie in a kangaroo suit. One of the highlights of the scavenger hunt was when I opened a box to find 13 postcards Vinny has written me over the years. His siblings and I had to somehow figure out one word from each postcard to form a sentence of where I was going the next day. The fact that Vinny had been planning this puzzle since 2 months after we met was crazy and made me weep. Another highlight was at the end of the scavenger hunt when my friends found a square piece of wood with some little parts cut out of it, and when we layered that on top of the record he made for me, the words spelled out something about “behind Bonnie.” This led me to race downstairs to another special gift he made me- an old cigar box with my favorite singer, Bonnie Raitt’s face engraved on it and with my favorite lyrics from her songs engraved as well. Behind her face we found another clue. :’)

On May 31st, 2026, exactly 3 years after we started dating, the clues told us to go to the Fiske Planetarium in Boulder. When our friends and I walked in, I heard our song- and I realized maybe we weren’t going to be watching a Fiske Planetarium original. Then all of my childhood videos started playing, videos I didn’t know still existed and had never seen before, alongside pictures of Vinny at the same ages. I just wept the whole time- it made me see my childhood in a whole new way. The pictures continued through our adulthoods and through meeting each other. Afterwards, my friends told me to go on the stage and open the box. There was a note that said “turn around,” and there was mine beba. He tried to get on one knee but I wasn’t ready, it had been so long since I’d seen him and I’d done so many puzzles and I started ugly crying. When he got on one knee I asked if he was going to get kidnapped again, and he said no. And that’s how we got engaged. :)

Hi, Vinny Here

When I was living in Seattle I had to take a trip back to Raleigh. Being too cheap to fly a real airline I had a crazy long layover in Denver so I hit up my friend asking if she wanted to go snowboarding that weekend. The last night I was there she told me about a shrek-themed potluck. This potluck was right on par for any other OAR potluck (OAR is an outdoors group @ UF I was given honarary membership to - go gators I guess?). It starts with strange animals greeting you right as you walk in. In fact, over the years I've had the pleasure of greeting sugar gliders, bizarre reptiles, probably some illegal animals, and in this case a giant crate of baby chicks. I brought a party pack despite the theme beacuse, who doesn't like taco bell? As I walked in, a pretty lady ran up and swiped it from my hands while screaming "Taco Bell!" That would normally have been enough to win me over, but I just got out of a relationship and wasn't looking for anything new. Still, she struck a chord. I casually made conversation with her a few times throughout the night. Then she played hard to get by disappearing to her room for an hour. Later, I watched her scurry off to the sink to do dishes. This would be the first of many times she has tried to take my job washing the dishes. I remember I was in a conversation with a group of people, but everything else faded and my attention was on her. I walked over to join her and she started asking very deep questions immediately (also my job). She managed to catch me off gaurd on several more occasions that night. Namely, when she dove on top of me for a group picture. I assumed this must just be her personality. And while that is definitely true, I knew there was something more when she directly said "I don't want to not know you after tonight." Alright that's my cue, "what's your number? I'm coming back in a few weeks."

We talked, texted (even though I hate texting), flirted, and ultimately planned a first date on my return trip. She sent me interesting podcasts, songs, poems. I daydreamed about this girl without knowing hardly anything about her. What I did know was that I was going snowboarding at Steamboat soon and had a date planned with this cutie, so naturally I booked a one way ticket to Denver. She picked me up from the airport at her request with lasagna in hand, and that trip ended up being a rather long first date. We went snowboarding together, sacrificed chickens (no roosters allowed in Denver), canyoneered, went swing dancing, cooked. This was one of those times in my life I would've for sure assumed I was dreaming, but I didn't want it to end.

Zoë was a tough cookie to crack. While I was head over heels and she was having fun, she was also having trust issues; it was going to take a lot more wooing. So I did what any Ohio boy would do: I turned my bare, tech-bro studio apartment into a romantic getaway with a comfy couch, badass studio speakers, a projector, home goods decorations, candles, flowers, a hand written postcard, and a balcony dining set. When she came to Seattle I was ready. Ready for almost anything except the stomach bug she brought with her which incapacitated me. Not a great look for a suitor, but we still managed to hike, go mushroom hunting, watch a shi*** 80's movie (Top Secret, it's the best), listen to Earth, Wind, and Fire. Still dreaming it seems...

After much banter, I finally won her over on May 31st 2023. And shortly after I did she convinced me to move into a van with her. We traveled the country and went on epic adventures just about everywhere. BC, Oregon Coast, Yosemite, Joshua Tree, Red Rocks, New Mexico, Cuyahoga... come on let us have this. We settled in Raleigh to do some work on my house and in those times it really felt like we started seeing ourselves together. In the van we were adapting to each other, but here if felt like we were starting to merge our lives. When I learned that our travel restrictions were lifted at work, we moved back to Washington. More accurately, Zoë took exactly 3 days to drive a giant van of all of our stuff from Raleigh to Portland barely stopping...then she flew directly back to Raleigh and did the same thing again with our CRV. Possibly the most impressive feat I've ever seen; this girl was truly something else.

There's a whole heck of a lot more that has happened in between, but suffice it to say Zoë has never stopped impressing me to this day. I've never seen someone with more passion and hustle. She makes me laugh whenever something human happens to her and she can't comprehend it (like being sick for a day). Her joy is undying, her compassion is unending. Out of all of the many things Zoë could choose to do, she chooses thankless work every time. She spends the majority of her days being a superhero, and I think most people won't have the privilege to see it up close the way that I have. I'm eternally grateful to have met this girl, and I know by the way she brightens a room when she walks in I'm not alone in that sentiment.

The proposal was admittedly a little over the top. It started with the postcard I had waiting for her in Seattle 3 months after we started dating. I had a random thought to place one word in each of the postcards making a cipher across all of the postcards I would write her (this made writing any postcard to her a bit of an event). From there it escalated, I decided I wanted to send her on a scavenger hunt (just one city/state at first), then I decided I wanted to make the ring myself, then we travelled all across the US and I wanted to send her back to all of the places that were special to us, then I wanted to make sure she got to see all of our friends and family along the way. When I recently complained about not having enough time to work on the proposal plans, my buddy Logan reminded me that I would have just used any additional time to make it more intricate...fair point. Anyway, the heavy planning began about a year ago when I dragged Logan to Montana to help me find a Sapphire for her ring (he's a geologist, it didn't take much dragging). Then the really heavy planning started in January 2026 when I began making the ring and actually working on the scavenger hunt. I tried to draw on as many themes as I could: our favorite songs, movies/series we've watched, inside jokes, things we've taught each other. But, I didn't want our friends to be bored doing these puzzles with her for an entire day so I tried to gear the puzzle themes toward the people she was hanging out with in each city. After many nights of not seeing Zoë in our own house and several all-nighters, I kicked zoë's "amazing race" off on May 17th. For two weeks I drove and flew around the country hiking trails to bury hints, staking cryptic signs in public, convincing people to let me leave suspicous objects in their store/home, and sleeping wherever and for however long life permitted; Zoë followed along each day one city behind. The last night she was finishing the Denver puzzles (no doubt the most difficult) and I was planted in a hotel room with my full desktop computer trying to learn video editing for the first time so I could show her a side-by-side video of me and her as kids turning into adults projected on the largest screen money can rent: a planetarium. I was coming off of a no sleep bender that night and was having trouble staying awake so her friend Lexie lent me magic focus pills and I pulled one last all-nighter to finish the video right at 6am (she was supposed to be there at 6am). Originally, she was going to see the video and then go on a big hike where I would be at the end, but after some technical delays at the planetarium Lexie suggested "you could propose here you know." Simplicity was a foreign concept to me for the 3 months prior (maybe also generally) so I was really happy to have her there. We came up with a way to get Zoë on stage so I could sneak up behind her with the ring, wearing the clothes from our first date, exactly 3 years after we started dating. And that's how we got engaged.